That’s some Salty Language

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It’s Thursday again, and the 2nd one in Keto.  I don’t want to sound too optimistic, because Murphy’s out there with his big book of laws, but I do believe I’m getting the hang of this thing.

Last week, Thursday, I wanted a Coke.  Every cell in my body wanted a Coke.  So I made a sweet-ish fat bomb instead.  Ate one of those.

And the rest are sitting in my freezer, ready and waiting for the next sweet-demand to hit.

 

bowl-potato-chips-fbFriday strolled on in with the next carb-heavy demand from my stomach.  I wanted potato chips.  Salty, crunchy, greasy little carb-wafers..the really good ones, where you lick the grease and salt from your fingers, your lips, and (if you’re a REALLY messy eater) pick the crumbs from between cleavage to get every last morsel of fatty, salty, potato-y decadence.

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Mmmm – fat and salt.  By themselves, easy to ignore.  But together?  You might as well paint them luminescent green and stick a big red ‘S’ on my chest, because that combination is my Kryptonite.

But instead of running to the store or the evil vending machine in the break room, I pulled a Google search to see if I couldn’t find salty/crunchy fat bombs to soothe this latest assault on my willpower.

Yup.  Some interesting ideas surfaced.

Mixing cream cheese with Italian herbs and a dash of sun dried tomato, smearing a bit on toasted pepperoni – pizza fat bomb!

Cream cheese mixed with Mediterranean herbs, smeared on crispy bacon.

Melting little piles of hard cheese (Parmesan, Asiago, sharp white Cheddar) in the oven until crisp.

Nuking wedges of American cheese in the microwave – again, until crisp – makes keto style cheese nips.

The one I focused on, as it was a simple run to the store – was using pork rinds to scoop flavored cream cheese.  Mmmmm – onion & chive creamy goodness and a slightly salty crunch from the pork rinds.

So long, potato chips.  Have fun hanging out with the Coke!

 

Now, I may well be imagining things, as a week and change is hardly enough time to really start melting fats, but I believe my pants may be JUUUUST a bit looser.

The other body change that I’m ecstatic about since starting this Keto thing – is my frequent heartburn.  I figured I’d be heavy into almonds or other nut-meats to combat the raging heartburn I’ve fought for over 25 years, or back to the tums.  After all, in the past, when I’d consume anything really spicy & fatty (say…pizza with loads of pepperoni and/or a tomato sauce) I’d be paying for it in pain for the rest of the day.

Nope.  My heartburn is all but gone.  The only time I had to take a tums was with the faux-tato salad I made, and a single tums wiped it completely out.

I’m starting to realize how inefficient and wrong the American Dietary Recommendations are for the human body.  Is there a single segment of ‘Public Health’ that cares about actual Public Health anymore?  Or are they all just visible marketing mouthpieces for Corporate Food & Drug?

 

Here’s how this week went:

Friday – needed chips.  Solved chip dilemma without resorting to salty language, eye patches, or peg-legs. (Arrrr – avast, ye’ dogs, an’ get to swabbin’ the deck!)

Saturday – My Keto buddy recommended Mio flavoring drops, so I grabbed a few on my latest trip to the store (I should buy stock in Woodman’s, as I’m probably propping up their sales) including Mocha Java.  This one does have a few carbs, so I’ll have to be careful with it – but damn – I can have sweet coffee drinks!

I mixed 2 T of heavy cream with a teaspoon of the Mio, and tried to get a froth going with the immersion blender, only to realize I needed more volume (and more servings) to get coffee whipped cream.  Not one to abandon a perfectly good food-project, I drank the stuff straight out of the glass. HOLY COW – WHAT A COFFEE RUSH!  Next time, I’ll take K’s advice, and mix it with a tall glass of ice water.

Sunday – OK…I have a new way to love veggies.  Roasted broccoli & cauliflower with onions, green pepper & garlic in olive oil – mixed them all together, spread on a pan, and into the oven until slightly browned.

Monday.  Oh.  My.  Gawd.  I can have PIZZA!  I found low-carb tortillas (5 net carb) at the store.  Topped with a white sauce made of several blended cheeses & spices I also found at the store, some chicken, green pepper, onion, cheese & bacon.  No need for bready crusts 😀

Tuesday.  I survived a trip to the movies.  You know how EVERYTHING at the concession stand is carb-loaded?  Not a single kernel of popcorn passed these lips.  (The movie was awesome, too…)

Wednesday.  Mixed some Orange Vanilla Mio drops the same way I do the Mocha Java ones – in a tall glass with ice & water.  YUMMMMM…orange creamcicle for breakfast.

When I’ve time this weekend, I want to try a greater volume of heavy cream, the Mio flavoring drops, and my immersion blender again.

I WILL have flavored whipped cream.

Witness…200881_1

 

 

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