Attack of the Killer Sidewalk

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I was accosted last night, on leaving the movie theater (the SQO wanted to see Kong:  Skull Island again) by a patch of pavement.

I think it must have been tired of all the people walking on its face.  I know I’d be irritated if, all day and all night long, there were people walking all over me.

I get enough of that at work, TYVM….

 

I really DO feel sorry for the sidewalk.  It gets frozen in the winter, with just brief glimpses of sunshine to warm its stony heart.  It gets covered in snow, and then rudely scraped of this insulating layer of semi-moisture.  Most times, it gets salt thrown over it, which is allowed to dry out its surface.  And always…feet.  Hundreds, if not thousands, of pairs of feet in boots, soft soles, and the damn stiletto heels pounding on its face over and over and over again.

Summers aren’t much better.  Baked to egg-frying temperatures by the sun.  Rained on.  Sometimes watered in the cool summer mornings by groundskeepers intent on keeping the grass green.  Used (and abused) by skateboarders and roller-bladers, rolled over by bikes & wagons & strollers.  Tickled in the belly by subterranean bugs and weeds determined to punch through.

It ain’t easy…being a sidewalk.

I’m sure it took my inattention of my surroundings as the perfect opportunity to get even.

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For those of you confused by my words…here’s the simpler version…I fell down and went boom.

Actually, I clearly recall saying Oh, Shit…but I digress…

 

I scared the shit outta the SQO.  I also frightened two innocent bystanders into showing concern.  Chivalry isn’t dead in this country after all.  The one lady behind me was thoughtful (and brave, given my feet) enough to retrieve my shoe, and the other one helped me gather up my keys (the mass of chain, rings and keys separated into 3 different portions).  Between them, D, and myself, I was once again put in an upright and bipedal position.  I managed to finish the walk to my car, drive home, and go up the stairs to the front door.

Oddly enough, today…I do not have any bruises.  I have muscular aches all along my left leg, and my left palm is VERY sensitive…but no bruises to show for this brutal attack on my sorry self.

And I’ll offer this tidbit of advice for all you carefree walkers out there –

Watch out for those sinister sidewalks – you never know when one is gonna rise up and exact a bit of revenge…

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2 thoughts on “Attack of the Killer Sidewalk

    • I just had to get the warning out there – the sidewalks may very well rise up in revolt, soon…I suspect this may have been a test-attack.

      And I’m pretty sure I didn’t bounce…although I’ve still enough padding to bounce quite well 🙂 From the holes torn through my glove, and the new rough patches on my keychain, I’d say I slid quite a bit.

      I may have to post pictures of the battle-damage…

      Liked by 1 person

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