Once again, I took to the wilds of retail Waukesha in search of second-hand clothing. I’m finally figuring out how to dress this new, less-insulated meat-suit I inhabit, and, as such, need additional layers to keep me semi-warm during the freeze.
And when I say Freeze, I mean it. It’s barely begun to get cold up here in Wisconsin, yet I really, really feel it. By January, I might just be cold enough to have my fingers stick to the keyboard.
So if a future post looks like:
You’ll know what happened.
My search was certainly off-season. They’re putting out all the long sleeve shirts, sweaters (especially the ugly Christmas ones) and outer-wear. I was searching for camisoles, preferably spaghetti strappy ones, that are longer than most, and stretchy.
Sadly, I didn’t find any of those – I might have to go full retail…
But, not one to let a second hand store selection go to waste – I found some new material for a super-spectacular blog post!
In the “Smoking Hot” category:
I really – REALLY hated to pass this one up, because who doesn’t need a big, full-length, black velvet smoking jacket to casually lounge around casual lounges in?
Oh…wait…I don’t casually lounge in casual lounges…especially when there are casual people trying to act all casual…
So it stayed on the rack…
In the ‘Welcome to the Jungle” category:
I love animal print as much as the next person – but when they’ve stylized the animal print to incorporate actual animal heads…sorry, I just had to say no…
Oh…and turtle-neck sweaters? Double no – they just don’t FEEL right, but could be useful if I was … say … robbing a bank.
Can you imagine the witness statement?
The Runner up – In the “Offset” category:
Now, I was searching for warmth – and this WAS warm – but there were too many zippers involved. This had an inner zipper on the right side, and the outer zipper on the left side. I almost zipped myself into an alternate reality while trying it on. I’ll stick to symmetrical garments in the future.
As an aside…look at the freaking FOREARM in this totally gansta shot…This is what 2+ years of chainmailling will do for the definition in your arms.
And the winner of the evening:
The ‘Game of Garments’ category:
I will forever and after regret not bringing the Twister Pants home with me and having them altered to fit…not so with this. There was no entity on the face of this Earth that could have removed this shirt from my cart.
I now am the proud owner of this “I loved Tetris so much I must wear it on my back!” shirt. Just having it in my closet elevates my ‘weird’ status…and to wear it out of the house?
I can’t wait to blind random passers-by with this ‘Louder than my iPod’ garment.