Catching up with New/Old Friends

So…

 

The other day, I was walking home from work.

yea…shocker…right?

I’ve changed my route slightly, to avoid the carnage that used to be my cathedral.  I sometimes wonder if they’ve cleared the ‘Earthly remains’ from their yard – yet I still can’t gather the courage to walk past the sight of the worst mass murder in recent Waukesha history.

If you have NO idea what I’m talking about – welcome to the T&T.  Trust me, it doesn’t always get this weird.

this is a ‘light’ day…

Here’s a little backstory for you…

I’ve taken to walking around the back of this school’s sports field.  Most people ’round these parts would call it a football field, (Wisconsin:  a beer state with a football problem), but as I don’t bleed Green & Gold during the fall/winter sports season, I’m just gonna call it an all-purpose ‘sweat till you melt’ field of athletic prowess.

My new favorite spot to stop and have a bit of fun is the outdoor play equipment behind the field-o-sweaty-dreams.

Play Equipment

Not because I’m entering my second childhood or anything – but I stop and bounce a bit on the very rubberized ground cover for no other reason besides:   IT’S SPRINGY!

foot plastic foot

I amuse easily…

Kids these days don’t appreciate that play equipment ‘back in the day’ was usually installed on nothing more than normal, everyday soil, packed rock hard by many, MANY feet.

I feel a curious desire to yell “Get off my LAWN’ right now…

After the brief bounce, I hop back on the (now very hard) sidewalk and continue making my way home.

Remember that ‘other day’ I mentioned at the beginning of the post?

I found something…disturbing…

Snoopy's head farter away

 

There’s a little white speck on the pavement.

 

 

 

Walking a bit closer, I found…to my horror:

 

Snoopy's head

SOMEONE DECAPITATED SNOOPY!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Charles Schwartz is rolling in his grave right now…ROLLING, I tell you!

 

 

I beat a hasty retreat from the site of yet another grizzly murder as fast as my legs could carry me (after I snapped the picture, of course!).  No way I wanted to be tied into the brutal slaying of a beloved cartoon character.

2bf1b53bdd1143968001738276864_3-0-1-18139184454484349003-mp4

 

 

Is it too early to watch “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving?”  I love the bit when Snoopy tangled with the lawn chair…

 

 

As I’m walking down the street, all is serene.  I’m guessing nobody’s reported the horrific crime yet…but then it dawns on me.

Back at the playground.

Is it?

foot plastic foot

Let’s adjust the focus, here…

foot plastic plastic

Oh….crap….

plastic close in

He’s BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

 

On one hand, I’m glad to see that he’s able to fend for himself, feed himself, and appears to be quite happy with his new life as a wild plastic shape-altering thingie…

They grow up so fast, don’t they?

But on the other hand…should I be concerned that he’s apparently turning cannibalistic?

 

1re73z

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A Walk on the Wild -Powder Room- side…

I’ve pretty much solidified my walking route home…when I get to walk, that is.  We’ve had a lot of wet weather so far this summer.  Last week, I got 2 clear days to walk – the remainder of the week had rolling storms consigning me to watching the world through streaky windshield wipers.  This week was a bit better…but I think my demon-weather summoning fat cells are continuing their spell work.

On the (not) plus (-size anymore) side – I had to make another journey to Goodwill and St. Vincent de Paul for smaller pants – the 16’s finally got to the point of ‘I don’t need to unbutton the fly to take them off.’  I stocked up on some funky shirts while I was there.  I may actually LIKE going clothing shopping again.  Three cheeses for Ketosis!!!

Hip Hip Havarti!!!!  Hip Hip Havarti!!!!  Hip Hip Havarti!!!!

Some of my more dirt-minded (NOT dirtY-minded…watch the difference :D) co-workers have started to lament on the status of their gardens.  Vegetable gardens all over the area are starting to look pretty sad with all the moisture coming down.  Plants need sunshine as well as water, and they’re starting to REALLY need a few hot, sunny days.

I hope things turn around, for Erica’s Garden’s Sake.  Cucumbers should be cherished!

Aaaaaanywaaaaaaaaaaay….

Today’s walk started out pretty normal.  Some sunshine peeking through the clouds, a bit of a breeze, a selection of my favorite tunes queued up on my iPod.

Through the industrial leg.  Check.

Past the Greenspace.  Check.

Homage given to the Fox River….Check.

It’s that witchy thing, where I bow to the river.  Just go with it…

Down into Bethesda Park….check.

Now wait a minute…what’s THAT?

20170620_165529

No…not that.  THAT…

20170620_165540

There…on the light post…

 

OH MY GAWD!

20170620_165549

 

It can’t be…but it is…

That innocent little cup from work…the one that broke containment a couple of months ago…is now stalking me on my walking route!

1re73z

Powder Room Mystery – the Panic is REAL

I just went to the restroom at work again.

 

Nope…he’s not on the sink anymore:

20170512_153346

He’s not in the lounge, either:

 

I wandered about the office – he’s not ANYWHERE.  I even checked in with the guy in the corner office:

New CEO

I think the guy in the corner office is kinda an airhead

 

The only thing I can think is…the cup…has…ESCAPED.

 

Do you hear me, folks?  The cup has broken containment – he’s loose upon the world!

RUN FOR THE HILLS!

 

20170502_141435

Public Enemy #1

Potty Mouth

Just a friendly warning here – if you’re sensitive to rather frank talk about UN-polite subjects – you may want to stop reading now and go to something lighter – like some of my flash fiction or photo posts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last chance – things are going to get weird from here…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There…now that I’ve cleared the more sensitive out – The other day, I had to go to the bathroom at work.  Yea, yea, yea…not exactly Earth-shattering…everyone uses this room a few times a day.   We’ve got a three-staller, so nobody has to wait too long to relieve themselves. This day, I had 2 to choose from, as the center stall was occupied.

Pick a door, lock and load.  I was prepared to wait just a bit, as the transaction my body had in mind was one that is, for the sake of politeness, accomplished when the bathroom is empty.

***see Peg’s Personal Etiquette Handbook – coming soon to all major e-book retailers – section Bathroom, subsection public, sub-sub section ‘Work.’

I did manage a stream of less-offensive waste while I waited for the lady next door to finish.

Her phone rang…and she answered it.

Does anyone else see the absolute horror of this, or am I just weird?

***Don’t answer that…

I can’t finish what I came in there for, as nobody wants to share the bathroom with an active pooper.  I can’t wipe and leave – she’s on the phone, and nobody wants to hear the loud thumping of the paper-dispenser, the flush, the clothing arranging, the sink and the hand towels when they’re trying to hold a conversation on the phone.

But I can’t help but eavesdrop – she’s sitting right next to me!

**HALP!  I’M TRAPPED IN THE BATHROOM STALL!**

But hold on…it gets even weirder…

The conversation she’s having is extremely personal.  Apparently, someone in the immediate family is going through a stint of rehab…

And Mom is understandably upset.

And Dad is strangely absent lately.

But the dog is just fine!

And maybe we should make plans to get together this weekend – there’s the great shop I just heard of that sells some really cute panties…

OH.  MY.  GAWD!

By this time, I want to crawl into the wall and come out of the Gents on the other side.  Anything…even shitting my pants…would be better than having to sit here, unpooped and overhearing this little personal slice of this woman’s life – especially seeing though her voice is unmistakable.

To say my etiquette lessons never envisioned this sequence of events is the understatement of the year.  I froze with indecision – I didn’t know which of the four would be worse:

1-Making noises of bathroom origin (which are pretty hard to pass off as anything else) to be overheard by the person on the other end of the phone.

2-taking a shit at work with someone else in the Ladies to ‘enjoy’ the atmosphere – possibly leading back to offense #1 if the conversation goes on long enough.

3-Arresting the bowel’s movement & beating a hasty retreat, leaving urine unwiped, the toilet unflushed, and the hands unwashed to keep the exodus as quiet as possible…or…

4-to just sit there, quietly, and listen in on what was a conversation that ‘aught not be overheard at work.

Emily Post REALLY needs to update her book…