Took a new route home from work the other day.
I started out like I usually do – down the industrial leg. The cemetery did some judicious tree-trimming along their fence, so I no longer have to dodge the long boughs to get through. More sunshine and less shade make that stretch just a bit hotter though – so it’s one of those give & take situations that everyone over the age of 12 has learned to adjust to.
Instead of heading all the way down the industrial leg, I took a slightly sharp right turn into a residential area…in search of more trees. More shade. A bit more breeze. Plus – I get to tramp on different concrete. Who knows what I’m gonna find?
(the last time I took a different route home, I ended up snapping a couple of shots of Les Paul’s memorial graveside…so ADVENTURE!)
The residential trail WAS a bit cooler, as I was walking with my back toward the sun instead of it blasting my side – and the wind was brisk enough to cool things down a bit.
Ooooo – big hill. Let’s turn left here to avoid…
And down into a stretch of …how shall I say this…
Cheap Apartment Units?
It was almost like I’d stepped through a portal. Trash now clogged the streets and gutters – empty pop cans, Power-Aid containers, the torn pages from at least one book. Various scraps of other unidentifiable paper danced in the breeze up and down the obviously-patched (read…badly tended) blacktop street. The lawns were dominated by brown, frizzy, untamed grass, widely interspersed with large swaths of light brown dirt under the old oak trees. Concrete stairways marched up the low rise between the apartment buildings and the sidewalk clearly showing their bellies – the earth had eroded from underneath them. The handrails were either missing or brown with rust.
The buildings themselves – all brick – all uniform – all looking like they had been more than just a bit neglected in the maintenance department. A LOT of the windows in these buildings had cracked blinds, blankets, or sheets hanging in lieu of commercial, uniform, curtains. One window even sported a large splash of mud.
Because it was a nice, sunshiny afternoon, the residents of this neighborhood were out and about. A couple of young men were conversing with another couple of young men in a car stopped dead in the middle of the street. Off to the side on the other side of the street another couple of men conversed in the doorway of one of the buildings.
A young lady finished her conversation with another, then darted across the street after giving me a long look.
On my side – 3 moms stood on the dry grass chatting with each other as they kept eagle-eyes on the kids playing nearby.
As I approached, all those eyes zeroed in on me.
Now…my favored ideal when I’m out and about is what I like to call chameleon mode. Yes, the people around me are aware of me, and I of them, but I’ve pulled in my energies nice & tight, so I just flit on the edge of that awareness. If you’re a fan of the Hitchhiker’s series – it’s almost as if I’ve placed a SEP (someone else’s problem) field around myself.
I like it when observing eyes just slide off.
Yesterday … no amount of pulling in of my energies was going to make those eyes NOT notice. And focus.
I was the interloper. The intruder. The one who did NOT belong.
The expressions of the regular denizens of that place went from easy and social to calculating. Alarmed. Assessing. Was I a threat? A predator?
Or was I prey?
I watched body language change as each set of eyes came to rest on me. Backs stiffened up. Conversations died. Eyes narrowed and nostrils flared. Hands unconsciously curled and the kids play abruptly ended.
Now…I’ve been breathing air for quite some time. Driven through my share of ghetto-ish neighborhoods, walked a couple others. But this is the first time in a LONG time I’ve been in such a place without companionship.
Yes…I was extremely concerned. But I bravely soldered on through to the marching beat of the tune blasting on my iPod – and they all just stared as I walked. I guess I was assessed as SEP after all.
Now that my adventure has ended…I gotta ask…
Does anyone else out feel the poverty in the air when you find yourself in (gah! I HATE political correctness!) a disadvantaged neighborhood? Can you taste the desperation in the wind? Do the vibrations of these struggling humans echo from the Earth itself? Does the miasma which chokes these locations threaten to cut off your breath?
Or am I just too freaking sensitive for my own good?