OMG – I have Debt!

I did it.  I survived the closing.  I now have debt over 6 figures.

For those of you bad at math – that’s a 1 (or a higher number, but for me, I’m happy with just the 1) followed by two zeros (or other numbers, again…), a comma (yea, one of these (,) things) and then three more zeros (yadda, yadda on the other numbers thing…) before hitting that decimal point which signifies fractions of a cent.

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Aaand…for the more ‘visual’ learners out there…

Just the THOUGHT of this much debt makes me break out in a cold sweat…

But, in return for this new mountain of debt, I also have my own little piece of the Earth.  Lucky for me, there’s a building on it.

Well, OK, with me and my connections to the Natural, I’ve been more or less responsible for manipulating energies throughout the Waukesha area – but now I have my own tiny sliver of land within the area that I can steep in as much esoterica as I feel comfortable placing.

The money is just the Human way of recognizing things 😀

The fun part is just beginning, though.  I’ve got a mountain of boxes in the living room in the apartment that all have to be relocated.  I’ve got furniture, kitchenware, clothing, artworks, supplies, electronics.  All have to be shifted.

The two cats who are coming with me (both the black ones) are in for a rough couple of weeks…they dislike moving as much as I do.

And then, all the wards and energies have to be carefully sucked out of the apartment and reinstalled.

But, I’ve started.  This thing was the first thing in the house, and the first thing I attached to the wall.  I still have to put the dowel tabs on it, so it hangs straight – but that can come AFTER all the heavy lifting is done.

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I’m on my way – I own a home again 😀

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T-Minus FIVE days!

On Friday, July 27th, at a bit past 10am, I will commence signing of documents that will put me in a massive amount of debt in return for a couple of brass keys.

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These brass keys will allow me access to enough parking for 9 cars (if nobody minds a bit of a squeeze), a HUGE pine tree, a corner of the yard populated by ferns, 2 porches, 2 bedrooms, 1 bath, and Chainmaille Central.

I’m excited.

Actually…let me rephrase that…

I’M SUPER EXCITED!!!!!!!

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I’m also staring at this HUGE mound of boxes in the middle of the living room.  I’ve been staring at them (and adding to them) for about a month now.  This evidence of the move looming on the horizon has really interrupted the even flow of energies in the apartment.  It’s hard to think in a space that is so very cluttered with acres of belongings.

This will be the LAST time I pack all my stuff in boxes and move it…
The foot has officially been put down.

To stave off the mess in the living room, I took to the pliers yesterday.  The weave is European 4 in 1, which is an easy one, and the preferred weave for inlay artists in the Chainmaille community.  I haven’t done much inlay work (although the quilt patch is what I’ll count as my ‘first’) and haven’t done any inlay work in Euro4-1 before, so it was exciting and soothing and fun all at the same time.

Home Inlay

When it’s complete, I will have a rectangular inlay that spells out the word ‘Home.’  Where the ‘O’ is will be a little house.  I’m gonna hang this in the porch, so visitors can see it when they knock at my door.

 

 

 

Dodging a Bullet

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I think I’ve figured out where the little gremlins in my head are directing their mischief.  The little bastards have aimed at my credit card.

I’ve been VERY reluctant to use my card while this whole house buying process has been going on.  With my credit rating under the financial microscope, I’ve been given the usual warnings of “don’t buy anything unusual on credit,” to “Don’t buy ANYTHING for the house until you have the keys,” finishing with “Don’t transfer money between your checking and savings without letting us know.”

Yea, I get the reasons why.  The bank can pull your credit scores right up to the morning of the scheduled closing.  If those numbers shift, they can deny the mortgage until the minute you’re sitting at the table and signing documents.  They base your ability to pay for the metric shit-ton of money they’re lending you on how much you earn AND how much you already owe other banks like themselves.

I’ve heard the horror stories about people who’ve bought new cars (we’ll have a garage to fill) and new boats (lakefront property and all that) and that high-end furniture set (but the stuff in our apartment is OLD…) days before closing on the house, thus rending their credit incapable of supporting the bank’s formula on debt-ratios.  Closings didn’t happen in each of these cases.

I will not be yet another horror story!

Well, the gremlins are chomping at the bit to go out and spend like wild things.  It doesn’t help that I’ve been ‘researching’ for months, and have composed a huge list of things I’m gonna need to properly set up house in the house.  It also doesn’t help that my credit card has been in time out status for those months, and it REALLY doesn’t help that Mom’s IRA disbursement deposited the beginning of July and remains secure in my savings account, waiting to be spent on the house.

Finally, it doesn’t help that Amazon is running their Prime Day promotion today, and they’ve taken a third of the cost away from a new Kindle.

I need some sort of internet connected device in Chainmaille Central.  Research, Etsy listings, supply purchases, music, etc…all have to be accessible in that room, but don’t really need a fully functional computer.  Having a Kindle down there, paired with a bluetooth keyboard, is the perfect compromise.

I almost hit the ‘buy’ button today…

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As I hovered the mouse over the pretty orange button, I could hear the gremlins celebrating.  There were high-fives going on all across the landscape of my brain, and I think I heard the popping of a cork and glasses clinking together.  I was saved at the absolute last minute by a couple of things.

  1. I JUST got a replacement card in the mail and activated it on Saturday (they must have changed out the little chip in the card or something?) so before completing a purchase on Amazon I’d have to update my CC info, which is kinda a pain in the ass.
  2. A cool voice of reason chimed in.  How it was heard over the clamor, I’ll never know, but I’m very happy to have heard it say “Is saving fifty bucks worth jeopardizing the house, moron?”

I’ve never been happier to call myself a moron in my life 😀

I’m at 11 days to the closing!

 

Not So Wordless Wednesday

First, I would like to apologize for anyone out there who’s sick of me posting stuff from Amazon.  I do have my reasons for haunting the bigliest online shopping supercenter lately, something about an impending home purchase and how I am currently on a credit-card time-out.

 

They always say…don’t buy anything for the house until you have the keys in your hot little hands.  So I’m not actually buying anything…I’m just electronically window-shopping.

Chainmaille Central

I’m currently at T-minus 16 days to the closing, and the excitement is beginning to build.  Chainmaille Central is near enough to smell the … whatever the hell those basement smells are…

 

 

Aaaaanyway…back to Amazon…

The SQO has discovered the joys of Tiger Balm for the stiff muscles along his shoulder and spine.  We borrowed some from the kids, and we’re rapidly approaching the point where we’re gonna have to replace their bottle, because he swears the stuff actually works.

Smells to high heaven, and it’s impossible to wash off my hands after I’ve spread it out on his back…but the relief is worth it.

The stuff is kinda like hopped up Ben Gay.

Now, because I was at home and finally asked the kids what this stuff is called (because the label on the jar is all Japanese (or another Eastern country’s lettering…they all look the same to me…) writing, the computer was close at hand when I got my answer.

Naturally, I jumped on Amazon to look the stuff up…and found an awesome review…

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After such a glowing review, I couldn’t NOT put that in my cart, no?

 

TRAPPED! or…the apartment doesn’t want us to leave

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It was an interesting night last night.

 

 

First – the apartment I currently inhabit has a single door to enter or exit the apartment…and, as we’re on the 2nd/3rd floors, there is no other way to get into the unit unless you start dragging in ladders and breaking glass.

A single point of entry.  Or…a single way to get OUT.

Last night, that door decided, in whatever passes for wisdom in woodwork, to go on strike.

The internals for the door handle failed.

I’m just glad we found out about this last night, instead of this morning…you know…Monday “I gotta get to work!” morning.

How did we find this meltdown of hardware?  Well, the kids went out and about yesterday, where I stayed quite content at home, packing more stuff, cleaning the kitchen, goofing about on the Evil Book of Faces while ignoring the stuff that was playing on the TV.  All in all, a fairly standard Sunday.

The kids tried the door.  I heard the key scrape in the lock.  Then a thump as they tried to open the thing.  Then another scrape of the key.  Yup…another thump.

At this point, I sauntered up to the door.  Deadbolt was retracted, so I tried the handle.

Enter … the situation.

Actually, NO ENTRY would be the situation, as the handle was no longer retracting the little metal hasp which keeps the door rather firmly secure against unwanted visitors.

The door handle is ancient.  I’d have to guess it’s older than I am (the real, calendar age, not the fiction I keep attempting to run regarding the number 29), so it’s certainly lived the doorknob equivalent of a good life.  At some point … it’s gonna fail.  Everything does.

They built things to last back then…and to resist their retirement.

The problem was with the handle.  Now, it’s been a long time since I got up close and personal with door hardware, but I’ll assume that modern units have a handle (or round knob) that you screw onto the shaft that goes through the door.  This sucker was press-fit into place, and didn’t want anything to do with me yanking it apart.

It had securely held this door shut for over 50 years, thank you very much, and wasn’t budging.

Between calling the apartment’s emergency maintenance number, listing to the kids cuss and swear on the hallway end of the door, and employing various tools, it took me a good 45 minutes to get that handle off so I could get to the internals on the door and finally open it.

Hurrah for brute strength and claw hammers!

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But, I may be taking this the wrong way.  What if this is the apartment’s way of telling me it doesn’t want me to leave?

 

 

Knock it off, Amazon!

I tell ya…you look at ONE thing on Amazon…

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Let me make this perfectly clear, Amazon…I am NOT having a baby.  I’m 50 years old, ferkristsake, and THE BABY FACTORY IS CLOSED!

I will welcome any grandkids once they appear, however…

At least I know where this recommendation comes from…

 

As I’ve got an accepted offer on the new house, and the bank has tentatively accepted my mortgage application, I’m gonna be moving.  The kids and I are splitting up our current household’s stuff, and they use the living room furniture more than I do.  We’ve decided they can keep the couch and chair we got from the Restore shop when we moved into our apartment.

Restore is part of the Habitat for Humanity group – they take in donations and resell them to support their objectives, and I’m happy to have bought used stuff from them.

So, seeing though I’m gonna be living room furniture-less when I move, I’m scouring the ‘net.  One of my regular stops is (of course) Amazon.

While I was clicking through various end tables and daybed frames and other stuff, I came across an object I had to look at, just to clarify what it was.

It was a changing station that you could attach to any level surface (like a dresser or nightstand) to safely change the diapers of any child currently in need of a dry bottom.  Now, I’m not gonna lie – the thing has great potential as a mobile workstation for chainmaille (if it can contain a child, I’ll bet it can keep rings from rolling all over the place!)…BUT….

I’m not in a position just yet to buy things for the new house.  I refuse to buy ANYthing for the new place until I actually have keys in my hot little hands 😀

And, seriously, Amazon?  Ya’ll are 100X worse than the worst office gossip.  I’m surprised they didn’t send me a congratulatory email welcoming my new addition to the world!

/endrant

Now, just to reward ya’ll for getting through my latest Amazon rant…here’s a shot I took of the future Chainmaille Central.  The current owner still has a LOT of stuff to clear out of the house…but I’ve got around 6 more weeks until I can start spreading MY stuff all over this bench!

Chainmaille Central

 

Sporadic-us

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There was this scene from ‘Clueless’ quite a while ago which keeps popping into my head… she was planning a romantic night with her current ‘man of her dreams’ and he wanted to watch the original Spartacus.  Only in the monologue, she pronounced it Sporadic-us…so I’ve blatantly stolen that little bit of giggle for my blog post.

If you’re unfamiliar with the movie Clueless, it came out in the mid-90’s – it starred Alicia Sliverstone playing the part of an extremely shallow teenager with unlimited funds coming of age.  There are a lot of little leavening bits like the one I’ve stolen, but overall, it’s a good, silly little flick.

Which has to bring me to the meat & taters of this post.  I’ll probably be a little Sporadic-us in my postings for the next couple of months, because I’m FINALLY buying a house!

Yea, life-changing event.  Saving for the future.  Largest investment.  30 YEAR mortgage!
PANIC-LEVEL ANXIETY!

So while the bank is combing through every inch of my financial history, while the seller and listing agent are attempting to keep my interest high, while the credit card is sweating bullets with all the STUFF I have to get to maintain the home, while the entire team are working on justifying lending this single, 50 year old woman a metric shit-ton of money…well, let’s just say, they may be keeping me a bit too busy to regularly tackle the blog.

On the other hand, you may well get a number of posts from me bemoaning the entire process and how intrusive it feels.  There may even be tears.  We’ll just have to wait and see how the words hit the screen.

Any time that’s not taken up with jumping through all the hoops of high-property finance will be properly winnowed away by the little gremlins in my head who are screaming and breaking things because they HATE moving!

Right now, they’re enacting this enchanting scene from 300…

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Wish me calm…I need it!