Mystery in the Powder Room

As most of us spend 8+ hours/5 days per week at a job that’s not attached to our home, most business locations feature restroom facilities – unless your employer requires you to be male and outdoorsy, in which case there are plenty of trees to choose from.

just stay away from electric fences…

 

For a little better than a week now in my employer’s bathroom – this has been sitting on top of the toilet paper in the stall I frequent:

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421-national-surprise-drug-test-day

 

Given that 420 was less than 2 weeks ago, and this was a popular meme on Facebook at the same time – it’s not hard to connect a few dots and visualize this little cup having a purpose other than what it was created for…

 

The company I work for is a large-scale food manufacturer, and this is one of our sample containers.  Now…how it got from the shop floor, across the warehouse floor, up the stairs, and into the business office’s ladies room is one mystery – and the reason it hasn’t vanished is a second, bonus mystery.

Personally, I just find it hysterical.  Any time I’ve needed a laugh in the past week, I just go potty.

 

***Official Disclaimer***

Although I haven’t personally indulged in botanical recreation for a long…LONG time, I have no trouble supporting those who do.  With all the atrocities committed by one human on another human in this world, we could all do a lot worse than absorbing a chemical substance who’s only side effects are calmness, relaxedness, and a penchant for crunchy, salty snacks.

And – if you believe the hype – a potential cure for some cancers.

So…blaze on, my friends, if you so desire – we need all the relaxed, calm, ‘I need Potato Chips!’ people this world can give us.

 

 

Best Laid Plans

 

Dinosaur weather

Well…that didn’t go according to plan.  I checked the weather Sunday night, and saw in the forecast.

50% chance of rain at 7am.  95% chance of rain at 4pm.

Needless to say – I took the car to work today.

rain

Later in the week, I may be able to squeeze in that all important, first walk, as Wednesday is supposed to be in the early 40’s in the AM, a fantastic 56 for the walk home, and the rain should have moved off by then.

Sooooo – better luck mid-week!!!

Feet

These shoes…WILL walk…

Creamy is Dreamy

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Well – last week, I said I was determined to have coffee-flavored whipped cream.  I actually did a Mad Max Fury Road-style witness demand.

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I did it.

It took a whole lot of cream – 1/2 cup, to be exact, in the bottom of my blender cup.  A full tsp of my Mocha Java Mio followed.  The blender was dutifully dunked to the bottom of the cup, and the switch pushed.

Little, itty bitty splatters worked their way up the side of the cup and out, coating the blender stick, my hand, and the ‘in the wrong place at the wrong time’ coffeemaker sitting oh so innocently on the counter.  BLARG!

I hate making a mess when making something sweet in the kitchen.  All those little droplets of coffee sweetened cream WASTED?

**sob**

**sniffle**

I…need…a….tissue…

Sorry…was overcome for a minute…now, where was I?

Oh, yea…

Oddly enough, I had to lift the blender off the bottom of the cup – which stopped the spatters, and quickly turned my liquid cream into thick, fluffy whips.

Extremely quickly – I couldn’t believe how fast this little blender did its job.

I also couldn’t believe how quickly the stuff vanished…

It.  Was.  Delicious!!!

 

This week, I’ve been fighting the return of my heartburn.  Yea…I did kinda brag about it last week, and Murphy, damn his hide, shot me in the ass for it.  The heartburn revolves around either 1) the egg salad I’ve been making, or 2) the summer sausage I’ve been taking to lunch, or 3) the combination of both these proteins in my stomach at the same time.

At least I haven’t had any huge cravings for formerly sweet and/or savory stuff lately – and I’ve stuck within my daily numbers all week long 😀

 

Here’s week three in review:

Thursday fell into pretty ‘normal’ patterns – the kids & I had to run to the store (sigh…again) and we picked up some steaks.

Friday:  I.  Went.  To.  A.  Pizza.  Place.  There’s a new restaurant just around the block – and the SQO was in the mood for pizza, so we walked down and got a pair of pies.  Mine was a Greek Veggie Pizza.  Once I slid the toppings off the crust onto one of my low-carb tortillas – I was free & clear.  And…nom.

Saturday:  Coffee.  Whipped.  Cream.  ‘Nuff said…

Tubrine 2Sunday:  Strangely enough, I only ate 2x today, and was thoroughly fed.  I think it helped that I was equally engrossed in making a turbine out of jump rings and scale mail scales.  Crafting gets me into the ‘zone’ where food no longer exists 😀

Monday:  I’ve found another new way (well, for me, I’m sure someone in the culinary world has thought this up) to do my evening vegetable.  Frozen green beans, a good dollop of butter, and 2 cloves of garlic – sauteed quickly to get the heat through the ice in the beans, but not enough to make ’em mushy.  A bit of salt & pepper – I could eat beans like this for EVAH!

Tuesday:  Laundry night.  Now…while we DO have a washer & dryer in the basement of my building, the kids & I prefer to go offsite to do our washing. (yes…we’re weird).  Laundry night is also Take Out night…we usually buy burgers or subs and eat at the laundromat.  Tonight…we went to this sub shop called Jersey Mike’s – you can get any of their sandwiches ‘in a tub’ – making it into a salad.  And, bonus, Jersey Mike’s has a wonderful nutrition section of their website.  Simple to pull the numbers off the web.

Wednesday:  **Sigh**

This is the third day in a row where I’ve had heartburn after lunch at work…getting frustrated on this whole egg salad thing.   Might try eliminating the mayo all together, and whisking up an English Salad Cream instead.

 

Salad CREAM??? You ask?  If you’re not a die-hard Brit, I can understand the confusion, as this is one of those regional ‘class-identifying’ condiments from across that big pond we call the Atlantic.  It sounds interesting, though, and certainly Keto-friendly, so I’m willing to give it a go…and I should be able to scale it down to the 2 eggs I use for egg salad.

Until next week, here’s the Salad Cream recipe I found on the big-ole’-web.

English Salad Cream

The stuff:

  • 6 -8 free-range fresh eggs
  • English mustard or Dijon mustard
  • salt
  • pepper
  • vinegar, of your choice
  • single cream
  • lemon juice (optional)

The Build:

  1. To start you will need to hard boil some eggs, I normally do 6 or 8 depending on the size of the egg. (Fresh salad cream will only last for about 3 to 4 days in the fridge, so it’s pointless making a huge batch.).
  2. Boil the eggs for about 10 minutes then place in ice cold water to cool. Once cooled remove the shells and slice in half, place the yolks in a bowl and wrap the whites in cling film and place in the fridge, you can do something else with them.
  3. To the egg yolks add a teaspoon of English or Dijon mustard, a pinch of salt and pepper, and a splash of vinegar. You can also add a sqeeze of lemon juice too if you want. Blend all these together to form a thick paste. Now start to add some cream, do it slowly and keep mixing. You don’t want the sauce too thick or too runny.
  4. When you think it’s nearly at the right consistency, stop and do a taste test. Now is the time to add more mustard or pepper if your taste buds demand it. Finish off by adding a little more vinegar until you acheive the right consistency.
  5. Of course if you don’t want to add more vinegar add a little more cream, as I said earlier this is a flexible recipe so make it how you like it.
  6. Store in a clean jam jar in the fridge for up to 3/4 days. Use in sandwiches, salads, dips, dressings etc.

 

Tune in next week for all the fabulous results….

Batman & Robin copy