More on that Damned Shower

Soooo…against my better judgement, I took a shower with the ‘questionable’ bar of soap.

I’ve regretted it…
Especially my right butt cheek.

 

I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the most graceful swan, gliding in stunning white over pure blue, mirror-bright water…rather, I resemble a duck.

 

Waddling along.
Through an endless field.
Of dry grass.
Missing half his wing feathers.
And a leg.

So I had a bit of a slip, and ended up sitting down on the ledge of the tub…REALLY hard!

 

In between a stream of rather inventive expletives, I heard it.

The soap…
giggling with the abandon of the damned.

 

I’m switching back to Ivory…

 

 

 

 

Showering with the Damned

There’s this little boutique-y shop downtown that makes its money by selling small portions of its floorspace to the REALLY small business craftsperson.  The business is kinda like the farmer’s markets that pop up in cities all over the country, only year round and with the comfort of HVAC.

I’ve often bounced around the idea of renting my own floor space in the place to open up a new visibility point for my chainmaille.

Aaaaaanyway….This particular boutique has a stall for this craftsperson who makes soap.
It’s fantastic stuff, this handcrafted soap.  They add colors in swirls, make the stuff smell amazing, and the bars get their intended job done.  My favorite scent (of the moment) is an almond/cherry mix, although I’ve also been particular to their sandalwood spice mix in the past.

So, last night, shower happened.  Here I am, sudsing up without a care in the world, and I look…really LOOK… at my bar of sweet & bubbly solidly saponified fat…

I looked up soap-making quite some time ago…fascinating process!

And it occurred to me that there’s a rather demonic face being rubbed all over my…

let’s just say…

feminine bits.

A bit TMI?

Not sure if I should use the rest of the bar, or craft a protective circle around it and attempt to exorcise the demon?

Evil shouldn’t smell this sweet…

Sunshine Blogger Award

My All-time FAVORITE sunshine shot

I’ve an award!

My favorite demon-runner nominated me for this prestigious award, and I’ve had a great time visiting her little slice of the interewebz.  Go have a read, I promise it will be worth it!  Outrunning My Demons

As for the Sunshine Blogger Award?  Yea, it’s one of those bouncing blog posts that cycle through the ‘net, full of questions to be answered and more to be asked.   The ‘rules’ are simple, if one wishes to follow them:

Here are the rules for being nominated…

• Thank the blogger that nominated you in the post and link back to their blog
• Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you
• Nominate 8-11 new blogs to receive the award and write them 11 new questions
• List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award Logo on your post and/or in your blog

Usually, I take a browse through the questions, and if something pokes the goofy muse, we dutifully apply fingers to keyboard.  So, congrats, (not)Alissa…you woke the sleepy one, who quickly downed an entire pot of coffee and started digging through movie posters in search of answers, because after all that caffeine, she was too twitchy to type properly.

I was asked…

1. What is your favorite topic to blog about?
 

Anything and everything I come into contact with is potential blog-fodder…so I write about life…all life, not just the alien kind, although I’m certain there are certain celebrities who’ve forged their birth certificates to more closely resemble humans…

 

 

 

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2. Do you prefer salty or sweet?

Wave crispy, salty, starchy snacks in my face, and I fold like an origami sculpture.  I have no defense against the humble potato.

 

 

 

 

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3. Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?

Don’t ask me about the weather, the traffic, the news or politics, and I won’t have to pretend I didn’t hear your opening salvo into that dread social contrivance called small talk.  Seriously, I’d rather endure non-anesthetized invasive surgery while listening to Beethoven’s 9th symphony being whistled off key.

 

 

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4. Where is your number one place you would like to visit?

I have to give co-thanks to Steve Martin and my 4th grade teacher, with an additional nod to the Egyptian National Museum for allowing King Tut to get out of his dusty tomb/exhibit and travel the world, for my absolute OBSESSION with all things ancient Egyptian…so if anyone out there is willing to spring for tickets/lodging/meals/passport documentation/ immunizations any some discretionary spending funds…I’ll be the first on the first plane heading out there.  I’ve got the extra vacation time, because I NEVER GO ANYWHERE.

 

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5. Where is the most beautiful place you have ever traveled to?

I say again:  I NEVER GO ANYWHERE.  My last ‘adventure’ was the funeral in February, travel time >2 hours.  I simply don’t travel well.

Been to some pretty locations in this state, however.  The Dells (as long as you veer away from the tourist traps), up the thumb, and the Chippewa Valley are all jam-packed with some awesome vistas.  And…if you’re like me and love water, come spend some time with me meditating along the Fox River or on the banks of Lake Michigan.  Leave the Speedo at home, though, because they MEAN it when they say “Cooler by the Lake.”

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6. If you were forced to pick one…Are you beauty, brawn, or brains?

“Braaaaaaains….”

Actual quote from me before coffee….

 

 

 

 

 

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7. What is your birth order?

I am 3rd.  I was the most awesomest child in the entire world…the one that the parents decided was the perfect child and that they couldn’t improve on with future offspring…until my little brother came along and foiled this joke.

I’ve spent the remaining years of my life becoming the hugest pain in the ass the family has ever seen.

Maybe my weirdness is because I’m a Sidhe changeling?

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8. What book/movie closely resembles the story of your life?

OK, I’ll admit…the muse and I argued back and forth over this one…so we decided to add them both to this answer.  The first, because it’s as apt as apt can get in this day and age, and the second because Weird Al is my idol.

Seriously.

How can you NOT love a guy who’s made his way through life absorbing the artistic creations of his peers, then improving them with a healthy dash of Weird?

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9. What is the temperature outside right now?

This may have the letters G, I, N, P, R, and S arranged in an order I have refused to type out, but I didn’t officially TYPE the letters in that order.  And, there are other letters jammed right up against them, so I’ve managed to keep the ban against that word intact.

According to the Wunderground, it is 56 degrees and sunny.  Should make a fantastic walk home tonight.  I think the slinky has officially started down the stairs here in Wisconsin.

 

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10. What is the last thing you ate?

I’ve followed the Ketogenic style of eating for almost 2 years, now…so the bacon should come as no surprise.  I have a few slices every morning, coupled with a hard boiled egg and a slice of low-carb bread, and wash it all down with a large cup of coffee with cream.

Any ‘diet’ that encourages the consumption of bacon is a diet I can stick to.

 

 

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11. What is your favorite hobby?

Unless you literally fell into my blog last night, you’ll know that I have an obsession with twisting little metal jump rings into slinky, twisty, comical and sometimes extremely colorful patterns.

In my world, chainmaille is not just a hobby, it’s a deeply held conviction that life could be better if everyone just wore handmade chains.

 

 

 

Nominees to continue the madness?  Well, this is the part I normally don’t like to do, because it sounds way too much like assigning homework to an unlucky student.  Blogging is supposed to be fun and spontaneous – not a chore.  If this wasn’t fun, I wouldn’t have maintained the T&T for the 4 (?) years I’ve been pounding the keys developing it.  But still….there are a couple of vict…er…bloggers out there I’m dying to spread a little sunshine to.  So…without further ado…I’d like to award little patches of sunshine to:

Hello Dearest Hurricane
Danseur Ignobile
The Shameful Sheep
Fatty McCupcakes
Patience of Willow
The Real Reality Show Blog

 

You guys are ALL awesome bloggers, and I’m pleased as punch to browse the dusty corners of your respective webspaces.

So here…satisfy my curiosity…and feel free to skip any questions that require the use of a slide rule, advanced mathematics or a crystal ball.

1. make me the yummiest sammich to ever grace a plate.
2. Do you like your handwriting?
3. After that glorious morning pee, what’s the first thing you do?
4. If you have 20 apples and some bully comes along and bruises half of them in New York, how long does it take the train travelling to Albuquerque to make a savory picnic pie from the remains?
5. Tell me what’s in your iPod/MP3 player playlist, or the CD in your car stereo right now?
6. Keeping with the music theme…shuffle or straight through albums?
7. How soon after the advance ticket sales did you buy your seats for the opening night of Avengers: Infinity Wars?
8. Have you watched all the other Marvel Universe movies in preparation for this event?
9. Why won’t WordPress let me skip a number in this numbered list?
10. Boxers or briefs (or other, I totally won’t judge!)?
11. What’s the first thing you notice about people?
12. What makes you unique?

 

Have fun with it…can’t wait to see what ya’ll come up with 😀

 

Applying Foot to Ass…phalt, that is…

My censure of ‘that’ word allowed me to once again pound some pavement this morning.  I got my walking shoes all a-fluster, as they’ve been sitting in the shoe equivalent of the penalty box all winter long.

I just did a hockey reference…I’m so proud of me! 😀

I’m almost afraid, though, that more white stuff is coming.  As I was marching up the lawn in front of my employer, one of my co-workers stopped and watched me take those final steps.  She told me it was a good thing to see me walking again, because that must mean that s***g is coming.  I guess I’m the Robin of work, now.

At least I can blame her if the weather turns again! 😀

I did make a promise a couple of posts ago to take show off some of the old homes around my area – so, dutifully taking a VERY long route home, I snagged a couple of shots.

 

First shot…we do so enjoy the turrets in this town.  Here’s a pair of them…one the more traditional round, but a square one right next to it.  Hopefully, there will be green around them soon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Making my way up College Avenue, here’s a beautifully maintained little stone cottage-type of house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, I did promise an old Victorian Painted lady…I didn’t want to disappoint.  This is one of the first centurion homes I fell in love with when I moved to Waukesha.

 

 

 

 

 

This has to be one of my favorite shots of the day…the sky was such a rich blue, and the building, while a newer one (I think) mirrors the older stone all around the college area.

 

 

 

 

All in all, I think the walk home was a good 2 miles and change to go through the Carroll College area.  I can’t wait to take ya’ll down some of the other residential streets in my town 😀

 

Peg-sters Dictionary

Well, I am a sucker for vocabulary, after all.  When I was younger and stuck in the middle of a cornfield in Iowa, I rifled through the dictionary for fun.

It was either that, or watch the corn grow…

From time to time, I go through this considerable assemblage of large words bouncing around in my cerebral cortex, and add or subtract vocabulary constructs from my personal dictionary of curse words.

I’ve decided to add a new word to the list of four-letter words too vile or repulsive to ever be typed, spoken, or otherwise acknowledged.

This is serious bidness, folks.  I didn’t think I’d ever put a season in there.

That time of year when we finally shake off the snow and cold, and celebrate the beginning of the growing season will no longer be a mention-able word.  Because every time I type out the word that is the same as a tightly coiled micro-slinky of wire, Mother Nature gets wind of me being all hopeful and dumps more freaking SNOW on me.

This latest storm started Saturday afternoon, shifting from rain in the morning to rain/ice mix in the afternoon to full blown flakage in the evening.  All of Sunday was more white drifting stuff on and off, and it was STILL snowing this morning!

You gotta draw the proverbial line in the sand (well, OK…SNOW) somewhere…

 

 

More Salty Goodness

I flitted through the dread spam filter again, just because I was slightly terrified of recent home events, and needed the distraction.  The spammers kinda disappointed.  There was the usual offerings of little blue pills to get my dick hard, hot Russian wives, and word vomit.

I still can’t believe there are THAT many rant generators on the ‘web.  Check out this one for machine-existentialism:  New Age BS Generator 

 

and then…there was this little piece:

ᎳE WILL.? They eacһ shouted and they ran to the bed room
bickering about who gets to go firѕt.

This…I can actually use.  It’s the perfect opening sentence for a flash fiction piece.

That particular muse is, right now and at this very moment, yawning and demanding bacon and coffee.  She needs breakfast (and a LOOOOONG shower) before getting back to work, but she’s been in hibernation for quite some time, so should be equal to the task.

 

Unsolicited Duck Pics

I started this post with a weird title:  I got Nothin’.  When I started typing, I didn’t have an idea what I wanted to write, so I randomly typed out the usual bemoaning of an author fighting to get past a blockage.

About 3 paragraphs of bitching in, I had an idea.

I love it when I berate the muses, and they throw a good idea my way.  Well, that, and I loosed the earworms on them again.  They just can’t get enough of that damn banana-flavored love machine.

A lady on my chainmaillers group on the Evil Book of Faces was showing off her decoupaged scales, and I casually asked if she can do this extremely AWESOME artwork on the inside of the scales as well as the outside.  I had a ducky idea in mind.

She could, and she did.  So now I have a ducky in my flock sporting some very intense artwork across his beak and down his tale.  I like to call this guy the Fire Water duck.

He’s all ready and listed on my Esty shop.  And, I wrote up a little story for him on the shop, too.

In fact, all the ducks on the shop have a bit of a tall tale behind them.  I just can’t resist giving them a blurb of backstory when I list them.  Guess I just like to personify my creations?

Go have a read, if you’d like…  Tempest and Teapot on Etsy

 

Does it bother anyone that I keep splashing my (attempted) kiddie-friendly blog with unsolicited Duck Pics?  I’m such an exhibitionist, no?

 

Lookit!  I got my ducks all in a row!