I don’t mean to offend…

Went to Woodman’s the tonight, in search of toilet paper.

 

Ooooooh – what an exciting adventure, no?

 

When I was heading out, I noticed a bin of product that tickled my sense of the absurd:

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All I could think was:  how incredibly sexist of this egg noodle company to sell extra broads…coupled with ‘I’ll bet this is the best seller in certain political circles and ‘old boy’ clubs.’

I really need to rein in my weirdness at times, don’t I?

 

 

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Sir Spam-a-lot

I have officially been ‘threatened’ with spam.

This would have shown up in the comments on my Adventures in Goodwill post had the spam filters not caught it:

This means YOU, personally, really should weight your words SERIOUSLY f z f, and I strongly advice you to delete this written defamation i c v c of both characters and a huge group of people who do not take slander and character assassination like this easily l b y t s. I do not know which organization you have got to back you up, but if you do not care about lawsuits in the multi-million dollar range, fine, just keep on what you are doing c b n c x. If you DO care about spending x-amounts of money to try and defend this CLEARLY written libel, then take my DELETE-advice. Your “Post” is now officially taken both copies and screen-shots of and digitally stored for later use and evidence. This is just a warning. We are antifa, we do not forget.

 

I wonder – did they

  1. Find the leather pants in my size as horrific as I did?  Imagine the blowback if I’d posted of picture of me actually WEARING them?
  2. Become jealous over my acquiring black & orange striped socks?
  3. Rush down to their local Goodwill in search of Twister pants, and not find them?

 

The world may never know?

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Catching up with New/Old Friends

So…

 

The other day, I was walking home from work.

yea…shocker…right?

I’ve changed my route slightly, to avoid the carnage that used to be my cathedral.  I sometimes wonder if they’ve cleared the ‘Earthly remains’ from their yard – yet I still can’t gather the courage to walk past the sight of the worst mass murder in recent Waukesha history.

If you have NO idea what I’m talking about – welcome to the T&T.  Trust me, it doesn’t always get this weird.

this is a ‘light’ day…

Here’s a little backstory for you…

I’ve taken to walking around the back of this school’s sports field.  Most people ’round these parts would call it a football field, (Wisconsin:  a beer state with a football problem), but as I don’t bleed Green & Gold during the fall/winter sports season, I’m just gonna call it an all-purpose ‘sweat till you melt’ field of athletic prowess.

My new favorite spot to stop and have a bit of fun is the outdoor play equipment behind the field-o-sweaty-dreams.

Play Equipment

Not because I’m entering my second childhood or anything – but I stop and bounce a bit on the very rubberized ground cover for no other reason besides:   IT’S SPRINGY!

foot plastic foot

I amuse easily…

Kids these days don’t appreciate that play equipment ‘back in the day’ was usually installed on nothing more than normal, everyday soil, packed rock hard by many, MANY feet.

I feel a curious desire to yell “Get off my LAWN’ right now…

After the brief bounce, I hop back on the (now very hard) sidewalk and continue making my way home.

Remember that ‘other day’ I mentioned at the beginning of the post?

I found something…disturbing…

Snoopy's head farter away

 

There’s a little white speck on the pavement.

 

 

 

Walking a bit closer, I found…to my horror:

 

Snoopy's head

SOMEONE DECAPITATED SNOOPY!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Charles Schwartz is rolling in his grave right now…ROLLING, I tell you!

 

 

I beat a hasty retreat from the site of yet another grizzly murder as fast as my legs could carry me (after I snapped the picture, of course!).  No way I wanted to be tied into the brutal slaying of a beloved cartoon character.

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Is it too early to watch “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving?”  I love the bit when Snoopy tangled with the lawn chair…

 

 

As I’m walking down the street, all is serene.  I’m guessing nobody’s reported the horrific crime yet…but then it dawns on me.

Back at the playground.

Is it?

foot plastic foot

Let’s adjust the focus, here…

foot plastic plastic

Oh….crap….

plastic close in

He’s BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

 

On one hand, I’m glad to see that he’s able to fend for himself, feed himself, and appears to be quite happy with his new life as a wild plastic shape-altering thingie…

They grow up so fast, don’t they?

But on the other hand…should I be concerned that he’s apparently turning cannibalistic?

 

1re73z

Business Signage and my Brain

Just a quickie today…

I’ve been driving in to work the last couple of days because unforeseen events and extremely muggy weather put me in the damn car again.  But I did drive past a sign for an Italian restaurant in my area that was advertising Steamed Mussels the other day.

My first thought?  Why are they so mad?

My next thoughts?  Well, they went off on several different tangents, most of which got discarded for either being unworkable or running head-long into a mental brick wall, but eventually the various voices in my head agreed with the final sentiment:

That’d be a great name for one of them hoity-toity pampering spas featuring a lot of high-end saunas.

They could call the place Steamed Muscles.

 

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Spam…salty breakfast of Champions!

I occasionally browse my spam filter…usually when I’m bored, tired of games and facebook and general web browsing, or I’m frustrated with a chainmaille build.

Or sometimes…just ’cause…

Today – I peeked in the spammage…and came up with this gem for a user name:

 

Donald trump forming Convervative cannabis lobby

Now…I try my damnedest to keep politics off the T&T – there are plenty of other blogs out there who regularly churn out their take on the political landscape.  If that’s your thing, more power to ya.

But this was just too good not to share.  Hope it brings as much giggles to you as it did to me.

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7:45 AM B.C. (Before Coffee)

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So…this was a morning…

I walked in to work – shocker, I know.

 

Plunked stuff down where I usually plunk it, took a breath, then organized for the morning of work.

Looked at my backpack, and saw that the side pocket where I slide my coffee cup was empty.

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Oh…the HORROR!!!!

 

No coffee & cream in the AM?  How am I gonna function the entire work day if

I DON’T HAVE MY COFFEE????

That stuff a couple of months ago when I gave up coffee – yea – total fail there.

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Then I turned to start my computer, steeling myself to a long and torturous, non-caffeinated day, and found my coffee cup sitting on the desk, where I’d just plunked it a minute before.

 

I don’t remember taking the cup out of its sleeve.

Yes…I’m less than a month away from the big one (Five-Oh…) and not really looking forward to it…but this C.R.S. stuff REALLY sucks.

How long before I wander aimlessly into a room, then forget why I went there?

A Walk on the Wild -Powder Room- side…

I’ve pretty much solidified my walking route home…when I get to walk, that is.  We’ve had a lot of wet weather so far this summer.  Last week, I got 2 clear days to walk – the remainder of the week had rolling storms consigning me to watching the world through streaky windshield wipers.  This week was a bit better…but I think my demon-weather summoning fat cells are continuing their spell work.

On the (not) plus (-size anymore) side – I had to make another journey to Goodwill and St. Vincent de Paul for smaller pants – the 16’s finally got to the point of ‘I don’t need to unbutton the fly to take them off.’  I stocked up on some funky shirts while I was there.  I may actually LIKE going clothing shopping again.  Three cheeses for Ketosis!!!

Hip Hip Havarti!!!!  Hip Hip Havarti!!!!  Hip Hip Havarti!!!!

Some of my more dirt-minded (NOT dirtY-minded…watch the difference :D) co-workers have started to lament on the status of their gardens.  Vegetable gardens all over the area are starting to look pretty sad with all the moisture coming down.  Plants need sunshine as well as water, and they’re starting to REALLY need a few hot, sunny days.

I hope things turn around, for Erica’s Garden’s Sake.  Cucumbers should be cherished!

Aaaaaanywaaaaaaaaaaay….

Today’s walk started out pretty normal.  Some sunshine peeking through the clouds, a bit of a breeze, a selection of my favorite tunes queued up on my iPod.

Through the industrial leg.  Check.

Past the Greenspace.  Check.

Homage given to the Fox River….Check.

It’s that witchy thing, where I bow to the river.  Just go with it…

Down into Bethesda Park….check.

Now wait a minute…what’s THAT?

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No…not that.  THAT…

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There…on the light post…

 

OH MY GAWD!

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It can’t be…but it is…

That innocent little cup from work…the one that broke containment a couple of months ago…is now stalking me on my walking route!

1re73z